The Loves

With The Good Comes The Bad

It's Christmas time, though I'm not excessively festive, which I usually am.
I love this time of year. For reasons such as family and the pure excitement I see in the eyes of my 3 year old nephew.
It's a love that only they can know.
I miss that love. But now, my love is for them and this look in their eyes.
It's wonderful.
Christmas is the greatest in my family, with so many memebers, the festivities are wondrous.

This time is always so happy and full of joy, celebrations of life and new starts.
Though, this year, there are many farewells I am not looking forward to saying.
And it has become a time for me to review the friendships and relationships I have created between myself and my friends and measure their value, the amount of happiness they create and the love they share.
I don't want to say goodbye, it's too hard.
But it is the beginning of the world's biggest adventure - life - for them.
And it is farwell, but not forever.

So, to the very few who follow this blog.
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and I wish you every happiness in the world.
Be safe.

A Weekend Away

On Friday, myself and Abby travelled to Sydney via train for roughly 7 hours.
We got to Mim's and had a super lovely reunion of "The Kickers".
It was super lovely.
We spent the afternoon, walking the streets of Surry Hills trying to find both alcohol and something for dinner. Being the three most indecisive people, this became a very difficult task.
We settled on some pizza and purchased some cider.
We returned to Mim's and spent the evening cooking pizza, drinking cider and relaxing in their cute backyard.
It was heaps great to just hang out.
Abby was saying some funny stuff about how she is going to act next year. Specifically: "Oh that was just Mum, they had to shoot my kangaroo" - classic.
We then watched Gothika and went to sleep.

On Saturday, Mim went to work and Abby and I awoke at almost 10.30.
We got ready and ventured to the city, with limited funds, we decided to go for coffee in Darling Harbour.
We found a cute little ice creamery and had a cookie and cream thickshake and an ice coffee. The shake was absolutely delic.
We sat there for a long time and had a cute conversation about all sorts of things.
We then started walking home, brought some Santa hats for the carols and also brought some food and wine.
We met Mim back at her place and had some pizza and got ready for Carols.
We walked from Mim's to the carols and once there had to find somewhere to sit. We practically sat in China, but then we found a new place under a lovely tree.
We spent the night, with our candles, singing carols and drinking wine. It was super lovely. The best way to spend the last time with all three of us.
On the walk home, many many funny times happened.
I met two boys named Adrian and Hayden Squires. Had some fun times with them (in a non-sexual way)
Watched the most amazing light show ever on the side of St Mary's Cathedral. Took about 4000000 shots.
Got inside a stretch hummer and also attempted to get in the back of an ice-cream van (we were not successful).
Got home and went to sleep.

Woke at 6.15 and got ready.
Went to train station and we travelled home.
Abby slept for most of the trip home...
I was not so fortunate.
Girl in front was such a pest.

All in all, a simply lovely weekend, with the greatest of all great people.
So much love for them.
Good times.

This thing we call life

Right now, at the age of 16, I am happy.
I'm surrounded by some of the most wonderful people in the world.
So today, on the 16th of December, I count myself lucky.
For these people and the moments that I keep having that seem to keep me consistantly happy.
It's good, it's great.
I just hope that this doesn't change.
I hope it doesn't go away.
And I hope, this feeling and these people stick around.

But for now, there is so much to look forward to.
There will come a time.

Sunburnt

Well, you know summer is here when you have lost the ability to move due to sunburn.
My lord, is it painful.
Went to the beach today and sunbaked for 2 hours, without sunscreen.
Thus, I have lost the ability to move my legs. It's the pits.

But, ah, the joys of summer!

Losing It

I have lost all motivation:
-to sing
-to play
-to care

It is really bad and I hope I get it back soon.
People are leaving and there is nothing/no one to motivate me.

Somebody, come along.
Or stick around.

Way Back

These photos are from so so long ago, just found them. Wow.

Questions

When will it come?
How many people are there?
What happened to love?
Why is the world changing?
Will it be as hard as I think it's going to be?
How quickly does time pass when you're waiting?
When does it all stop?
Why don't we know?
Can tomorrow really be better than today?
What do I expect to happen?
Will I change too?
Am I going to run scared?
How often should I write?
Does anyone know?


Answer me these questions.

Unknown

As I sit here and bask in the non-present sunshine of this day, for once, it may seem to you, I am writing a post about happiness. Today and the last few days has opened my eyes completely. Who are we to know when our time will be up? How do we determine that? It's scary, but its reality.

Let's lose the focus on the hate and bitching, all the war and stuff. For once, I would love to see everyone happy, i'll wish it upon every star in the sky. We need to think about the people we love, our family, closest friends and even those we are just 'pals' with. Its about rising above our problems and wearing a smile, sharing a hug.

I don't want to die, I don't want anyone I know to die. I love the life I'm living, all the people in this world of mine are the strength in my body. I wish, again, upon every star in the night sky, that they live happy and fulfilled lives.

For those we have lost.
You are the stars I wish upon.

Hidden

Deep,
in the depths of the unknown.
Wilderness,
forest,
woods.
Wherever.
Hidden,
from what
has not been desired.
Questioning
the true value,
of materialism.
No care,
for money,
or gossip,
or trivial friendships.
Me and the stars,
alone.
Happy,
for the greater good.
A better place.
I'm hidden,
in a cave.

Real

Spoken about,
more than once.
A joke,
something we
merely swept under the rug,
until now.
Real,
it has become real.
Not just a thought,
but a matter of time,
gone,
away,
not close enough to touch.
Not easily forgotten.
Memories,
have been created,
will still exist,
penetrating my mind.
Missed,
truly missed,
goodbye,
but not forever.
Love.

Stop

Stop taking advantage of what you have, of the way you feel and how easy it all is.
Cause, one day, it won't be.
One day you'll wake up and you'll feel something. Something real like the rest of us. Then what are you going to do?
Hey? What are you going to do when it all falls apart?
Materialistically, I don't have much, but it doesn't bother me.
I don't really care.
Spiritually, I care. I enjoy being able to feel things and being able to cry and laugh.
I like feeling the everyday pressures to perform and work.
Sometimes, on the rare occasion, I wish I had something more.
Someone who genuinely cared.
Who had me in their mind.
I care too much and it's killing me.
I don't want to be alone.

Albert- my fantasy

Strings

So, last night, my brothers came home for dinner, and before the meal was ready, they were both sitting down playing guitar. I wrote this just after, its just how happy it made me, I loved it. I love my family an extraordinary amount.

The affect is disguised,
by a mere smile
or grin.
But, you have no idea,
or sense,
that just the way you play,
your touch on the strings,
The limitless sound,
to my ears,
it is a love,
that flows through my veins.
It's within yours too.
We are bound,
not only by blood,
but also the love,
shared,
for one anothers soul.
Everlasting.
Always.
Brothers.

Newfound Friend

It's crazy, cause I love writing this stuff. So weird.
Most fun though. Just for fun:

Another Day

Lost.
Lost in a place where she does not belong.
Searching for a place.
For somewhere, or someone.
But what comes?
Nothing, that's right, nothing.
Nothing except a beach,
a beach,
long forgotten,
without trace of a human touch,
or step,
dried to the bone,
it's dignity diminished,
like the light in the skies,
as daylight falls.
Midnights drizzle,
plasters the face,
of a girl bewildered,
misunderstood
and lost.
Lost in another day.

Harry James Potter

I'm off to see Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows in 9 days.
The amount of excitement I am feeling is borderline mental.
A few things I value about old HP:
- He has fought Voldemort many a times and yet, as a young boy, still manages to get past him and continue living.
- He has the two cutest best friends in the world. Ron is the greatest person known to man (after Harry of course) and Hermione is the prettiest thing I've ever seen.
- He has no parents and still can fight all the people he fights, with the support of his new family- The Order.
- Dumbledore takes him under his wing.
- He has a crush on his best friends sister.
- Merely watching his movie trailer gives me butterflies and goosebumps
- Everytime someone mentions his name or talks about the books, I instantly become so happy it's crazy.

So, this post is dedicated to Harry Potter, and his magical ability. I know he has changed my life and many others, he deserves a crown.

Galaxy

If I were actually told that in order to study astronomy at college you would need physics and like extension 6 maths, I most definately would've put on my smart shoes and done them.
I would kill, literally, to study astronomy.

The stars are my valium.
A metaphor for my happiness.
They engulf me on a nightly basis and I become enthralled in their beauty.

If they were a drug, call me addicted.

This Is Not A Test

Ryan Gosling, feeel free to pop on over and marry me anytime you'd like.
I mean shit, look at him.
I'm in love.

This woman is the most beautiful person in the world.

I have so much envy for her. Yet, still so much love.

I spent my day with her today; Bridge to Terabithia and She and Him

From Quite Some Time Ago

Metaphor

There are stars overlooking us each night as we dream. Stars that are filled with gold. There is one star, the brightest one, which is held so dearly and closely to our hearts. If any metaphor could explain the relevance of this person, it could only be the brightest star, filled with all the gold in the world.

There is enough love within my heart to satisfy a whole nation, to wed a thousand couples and to bring smiles to an everlasting generation.
This love, is undying, it will not change, for the name is engraved within my heart forever.

Shall we dance?

I'm confused about what is better, keeping secrets or spreading them? It seems today that when we envelope our secrets inside, we are kept away from the degradations of gossip. I mean, who really thrives for gossip. Yes, I know there are many people who do, those who just have to let the world know everything they know/feel, but some of us, are not interested what-so-ever. So, it seems that in order for me to not become engulfed in the oppressive chains of gossip, i must keep to myself.

Then I question whether that is healthy?

Too many questions, too little time.

Innocence

As slicked back as my hair was, as much as I looked like an alien, I would kill to go back, to when there wasn't a care in the world.

"So, like, um she's the biggest bitch i've like ever seen like, omg."

Want to know what I am sick of? No, well I'm going to tell you anyways, that's just the sort of person I am.

I'm drained, completely drained. Because of 'he said, she said'. I mean what is truly the idea behind it? To force people into corners, hidden from social contact. Me, no, i'm not remotely interested. In fact, if I could, I would live among the stars, communicating only with the gold found within them, gold that could speak. And it wouldn't be 'he said, she said', we'd have evolutionary conversations about, perhaps earth and why it moves the way it does, we'd talk about how everytime people look at the stars, no matter where, they are the same, or maybe poverty and how we can change the world. Things that didnt have any relevance but are so important.
Ask yourself how often you have spoken about something that truly makes you think twice, something that you have to put a tiny bit of your heart into? This is what i'd like.

I would have no worries about gossip and if what I am doing is 'okay' in the eyes of the people around me.

I have 5 cares in this world, genuinely:
- my family
- the triangle/our crew
- music
- 2012
- finishing school

The rest, is simply that, the rest.
I'm not changing, especially not for you, you can learn to deal with it.

Questions consistantly arise throughout my life about why things happen, why things don't happen and how things can be changed. These questions are sometimes fulfilling, but often very hard to answer. I find it necessary to record the questions, to pull them apart and develop an understanding of them. But then I ask, will my questions ever be answered or will I continue to live in a state of uncomprehension?

This question bugs me the most of all. I think for me to be able to fully relate to or understand the people around me, I must first understand myself and my thoughts, but I dont yet have this ability, nor do I see it coming anytime soon. Ah, someday I will know, until then. Life goes on...

And what a great life I am currently living, havent had a bad day in a long time and it is perfect.

I gave someone my necklace, genuinely never thought I'd ever ever ever do that. It's good but, it's okay, lucky she is cool I guess. Will keep her safe. Woo.

A list of things I neeed:
-right now a glass of orange juice
-sleep
-a new riff
-a blondie dress
-a tissue
-some new vinyls


Just for shits and giggles.
398 daysss. :)

Enchanted

I feel as though I have been ultimately enchanted by happiness.

Finally, my life is amazing. Finally, i'm genuinely happy.
The people, the ones that are around, are people I couldn't possibly change for the world.
I'm surrounded by things that make me happy.

I smile, constantly. Cannot wipe it off my face.

This life is beautiful.

THANKYOU.

And We Were Weekend Warriors

This weekend, my parents ventured to the depths of the beautiful Victoria, right into the heart of Geelong. As jealousy began to overpower me, I found it completely and utterly necessary to make this weekend worthwhile. And did I ever.

A weekend of pure bliss.

Friday, it begun with the Port Macquarie Races, informally known as Port Cup, this was attended by myself and fellow "punters". It was a rainy day, but it was highly enjoyable. Then the fun began. The girls, plus a few others came around to my place and we spent the night giggling like children and drinking copious amounts of alcohol, specifically for me, thy beautiful red red wine. I danced until my feet could not take it anymore, enjoyed a midnight feast of some yum yum pasta! Then hit the hay.

Saturday, was more and more bliss. Spent the day lounging around in the rain, being so cosy and warm, then played a gig at a gig called the GIG, rad hey? It was fun, the likes of The Josephine March, Rargo and Moscow Victory Parade played and it was insane. I then had afterwards at our house once more, this is when it got really fun and I realised that this weekend would be one not easily forgotten. Back at home, we (brother Andy and I) were accompanied by Lindsy Millerr, Abby (Abracadabra) Pattison, Mim (not Mimi) Holvast, Laura Bridle, Pat Bolster-and RARGO, Dan Bridle, Lachlan Walsh and a few others. It was beautiful, we begun with glasses of red wine, and drawing pictures of one another, it was super cute. We then ventured to the dance floor, where tunes by the likes of Blondie and Prince were played and some of the greatest dancing experiences of my life took place. I spoke of becoming a unicorn, which someday will happen. Abby, Mim and I, formally known as "the kickers" went on a midnight bike ride-which was the cutest thing ever, I doubled Abby and we made it swiftly, just in time for Mim to get caught breaking into her own house, good times good times. 2012 <3.>

A good weekend, in fact a great weekend, the best in a long long time. Here are some pictures that resulted from this weekend, sometime soon we'll dance again yes?

Lou and Lu

It is fucking love.

You see these red wine lips:

This is Abracadabra, a major formulator of my happiness on Saturday night. :)

Here she is again, did i mention her wonderful talent when dancing to Blondie-best moment.

Midnight snack:

I will become a unicorn and sit at your front door.

"Good friends til the end"

What's missing, is Mim Holvast's picture, this person is divine.