Regroup

I'm trying to regroup my life, so I can fully understand where I am going with it. I am actually petrified of growing up, completely and utterly terrified. I don't want to not be the age I am now. I'm scared of moving away and losing contact with all of the people that I love and care for the most in this world. I don't want to lose the times I have shared with them and the moments that I will cherish forever. I hate school, but I love how it is my routine and it's those people that I will miss so much that I find at my school. It's super hard trying to figure out what I am going to do with my life and what my future holds. It's so exciting too, but mostly it's scary. And I wish more than anything for someone to take this journey with me and share my fear.

WORD G-MEN

Due mostly to the fact that I got tumblr and I haven't really thought of much to write about in a while, it has been a long time between posts. However, often, there are little occurrences in my day, that make me want to come back to this little haven of mine and just have a rant to completely no one. Not a soul, which is perfectly okay for me. Today I had one of these little occurrences.

I find the power of words, of language, the most extraordinary thing in all of the world. Its hard to describe, or explain. But, I think that we do not glorify literature enough, at all. Think about it. We, as people of Australia, understand words of the English language, and again, we as adults, are learned in words, and therefore understand most words within our language, far more than that of an infant. Then, as apart of our location within this country, we understand localised jargon and colloquialisms, that many others may not understand. It's that individually acquired knowledge and understanding of words, that truly encapsulates me, I find it brilliant.

It's also interesting how mere words can change a mood. I love the ability of sometimes single words to change how I feel.

Today, a mere sentence made my day.

That has got to say something.

Those

It's been far too long since I've had a bit of an in depth thought, or moment of truth, or something of the sort.

Until today.

It has become apparent to me over the last few days just how important friendship is and yes, of course, there are the poems and the quotes and the messages that try to tell us how important our friends are and how we need them in our lives and the support and help and love and kindness they bring to our lives. Ra Ra Raaaa, for want of a better word.

Me, the freak I am, see things differently. I'm personally frightened of people as a whole, their minds and the way people think freaks me out a lil. However, at this point in my life, specifically in the last few days, I have come to have a different understanding. Currently, I am trying to determine what I am going to do with my life when this whole routined school life that I cling so hard to, is over. When I think of all the possibilities in the world that I am presented with, the selfish thought comes to my mind: 'this is my life, I can do what I want with it', I have made the partial decision to take my life to the city of Geelong, some 1000 kilometres from this place I call home. At this moment, when I decided this, I thought of that, the distance, that would keep me away from some of the people and FRIENDS, that I love with all of my heart. It is this, the sadness that develops from the prospect of leaving them, that truly conveys the ultimate need for friendship in our lives.

We love them, and without them, we would not be who we are. We are shaped by them, we cannot function without them.